The Digital Age: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
When it comes to parenting, lowered expectations and increased distances are toxic. What can we do? As parents, have power. With great power comes great responsibility!
The Digital Age: Empathy In Utopia
Regardless of age, the entanglement of virtual communication and social media is transforming our experience of reality.
The Digital Age: A Sense Of Urgency
Virtual communication seduces us, offering a myriad of momentary pleasures as the immediacy of response provides instant gratification.
The Digital Age: Invalidating Indifference
You may have heard the old adage, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.” In today’s cyberworld, children are being exposed to messages that teach them apathy, not empathy.
The Digital Age: Emotion Coaching Step V
The fifth and final step of Emotion Coaching according to Dr. John Gottman is to set limits while helping your child to problem solve
The Digital Age: Communicating With Your Kids
In theory, it seems obvious that human kindness is just as necessary online as offline. For some reason, when interacting with others on the web, this becomes easy to forget.
The Digital Age: Your Kid’s Media Plan
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we would like to share an article with you by Michelle Healy of USA Today.
The Digital Age: Bringing Baby Home
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we are excited to feature a guest posting from Gottman Bringing Baby Home (BBH) Educator Kim Brickwood.
The Digital Age: Slowing Down
In the Digital Age, kids may learn quick and easy relationship skills online, building rudimentary, occasionally fulfilling connections using virtual technology.
The Digital Age: Emotion Coaching Step II
As Zach Brittle mentioned on Wednesday, the second step of Emotion Coaching, according to Dr. John Gottman, is to see your child’s expressions of emotion as opportunities for teaching and intimacy.
The Digital Age: 3 Reasons I Am A Terrible Emotion Coach
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we are thrilled to invite back Zach Brittle, LMHC, who we featured as a guest blogger back in September.
The Digital Age: Emotion Coaching & Empathy Part II
When it really comes down to it, empathy is about understanding someone else’s emotions. The capacity for changing perspective and sharing another’s experience vicariously, as if you were in their place.
The Digital Age: Emotion Coaching & Empathy
In last Friday’s posting on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we promised to dive into a deeper explanation of Emotion Coaching, reviewing strategies that you can use to build bonds of trust, respect, and mutual understanding with your kids.
The Digital Age: Emotion Coaching
To continue our last chapter of our series on relationships in the Digital Age, we’d like to introduce you (or reintroduce you!) to the basics of Emotion Coaching, Dr. Gottman’s five step program for raising emotionally intelligent kids.
The Digital Age: The Times, They Are A Changin’
With the coming of The Digital Age, our perspective on human connection has been transformed. The tech-revolution’s steadily increasing influence on our patterns of relating (or not relating) to each other often undermines our bonds with those we love.
The Digital Age: The Workplace
The internet’s frequent intrusion into our personal lives is often fueled by (and blamed on) the unremitting demands of the workplace.
The Digital Age: The First Duty of Love is to Listen
As we promised in Monday’s post on The Gottman Relationship Blog, today we bring you a short and sweet overview of Dr. Gottman’s skills for Active Listening*.
The Digital Age: Will We Ever Learn?
Last week on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we talked about the ubiquity of multitasking in the Digital Age and its contributions to our endlessly distractible, reliably forgetful, and attention-deficient modern world.
The Digital Age: Life, Uninterrupted
At the end of our potentially alarming post on Wednesday, we promised to give you some ideas for avoiding the clutches of distraction in the Age of Distraction.
The Digital Age: Your Stress Levels
This week on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we turn our attention from self-esteem to stress. Researchers of cognitive psychology in Quebec, Canada exploring the effect of stress on our brains have found an important link:
The Digital Age: Self-Esteem
In Monday's entry on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we promised to explore and address the reasons for specific difficulties you may be encountering in your relationships as a result of the Digital Age.
The Digital Age: Two Realities
Last week on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we wrote about the necessity of making time for yourself in this increasingly busy-making (and often crazy-making!) age of technology.
The Digital Age: Who Am I?
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we bring you a very important Weekend Homework Assignment. If you have read Dr. Gottman's New York Times bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, this exercise may be familiar to you.
The Digital Age: How Has It Changed Your Life?
In Monday’s posting on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we encouraged you to consider the significance of choices you make in the digital age – their effects not only on your relationships with others, but also with yourself.
The Digital Age: Long-Distance Relationships
Over the last couple of weeks on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we have written much about the dangers of conducting intimate relationships in The Digital Age using modern communication technologies.
The Digital Age: 10 Tips for Avoiding Conflict in Cyberspace
If you have taken one thing away from our Relationships in the Digital Age series up to this point, we hope it is an awareness of the folly of text warfare.
The Digital Age: What’s Beneath the Conflict?
In our last post on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we introduced the topic of Conflict in Cyberspace. Today, we would like to explore the subject in greater depth.
The Digital Age: Conflict in Cyberspace
Last week on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we launched our new series: Relationships in the Digital Age. We started off by investigating the basics of virtual communication in relationships, enumerating some of its risks and rewards.
The Digital Age: Weekend Homework Assignment
Dr. John Gottman has discovered many surprising things about relationships over the past four decades, sharing these findings with us in his books, lectures, conferences, and workshops.
The Digital Age: The Price We Pay
Technology is changing what it means to be "together." While communication is nearly effortless and instantaneous at any distance, it can be more difficult to connect with others.
Relationships in The Digital Age: The Gottman Perspective
As we have mentioned previously on The Gottman Relationship Blog, Dr. John Gottman’s groundbreaking research with couples has allowed us at The Gottman Institute to apply his work to a much broader spectrum of human relationships.
How to Practice Self-Soothing
The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling
The Four Horsemen: Contempt
The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness
The Four Horsemen: Criticism
The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes
The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
How to Fight Smarter: Soften Your Start-Up
Valentine’s Day: The Gottman Way
Create Shared Meaning: Suggestions from Dr. Gottman
Instead of our usual Weekend Homework Assignment, today we would like to conclude The Sound Relationship House Series by sharing suggestions for Creating Shared Meaning from Dr. Gottman's celebrated book, The Relationship Cure.
Create Shared Meaning: Rituals for the Family
Creating shared meaning by establishing traditions and rituals of connection is not just for couples – you can bring your whole family together in much the same way!
Create Shared Meaning: Examining Your Rituals
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we are excited to introduce the final level in The Sound Relationship House Series: Create Shared Meaning.
Make Life Dreams Come True: Trusting Each Other
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we’d like to end our discussion of Dreams Within Conflict by sharing Dr. Gottman’s words on trusting our process and offering support to each other.
Make Life Dreams Come True: Self-Discovery
Make Life Dreams Come True: Dreams Within Conflict
The last two levels of The Sound Relationship House (which we will be covering this week and next!) are inextricably linked.
Manage Conflict: Moving Forward
All couples face times of conflict in their relationship. With that said, it may come as a relief to hear the following: our research shows that the existence of conflict is not an omen portending the end of your relationship!
Manage Conflict: Identifying Your Triggers
Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we continue Monday’s discussion of processing fights and regrettable incidents with some tips on how to identify and understand what triggers you and your partner.
Manage Conflict: The Aftermath of a Fight
Before we continue on with The Sound Relationship House Series and move to Make Life Dreams Come True, the level above Manage Conflict, we want to spend some time this week discussing what to do in the aftermath of a fight or regrettable incident.
Manage Conflict: The Art of Compromise
We’ve all been in the middle of an argument that we know we cannot win, understanding that our frustration has overwhelmed all sense of perspective.
Manage Conflict: Repair and De-Escalate
In the entry on “Making Up” in Greenburg and O’Malley’s tongue in cheek handbook for avoiding love and marriage, the following points to consider when resolving a fight are given:
Manage Conflict: The Six Skills
Today on the Gottman Relationship Blog, we continue the discussion of Manage Conflict by introducing Dr. Gottman's six skills of conflict management.
The Positive Perspective: More on the 5:1 Ratio
In 1974, an important book was published by Harold Raush. It was the first observational longitudinal study to use sequential analysis of interaction in relationship conflict styles.
The Sound Relationship House: The Positive Perspective
Build Love Maps, Share Fondness and Admiration, and Turn Towards Instead of Away build the fourth story of the Sound Relationship House: The Positive Perspective.
Love Quiz: Fondness and Admiration
According to our research, fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance.
The Sound Relationship House: Build Love Maps
Today on the Gottman Relationship Blog, we are happy to announce the beginning of a new seven-week series: "The Sound Relationship House!"
Expressing Compassion and Empathy
Putting Your Feelings Into Words and Asking Open-Ended Questions
Intimate Conversations and Collective Monologue
Building Bridges
The Zeigarnik Effect
The dynamics of flowcharts, mathematical models, and interpretations for detailed experimental results on trust - a subject that has barely been touched by scientists - are foreign to most of us.
Love Quiz: Are You Experiencing Negative Sentiment Override?
Sliding Door Moments
Following over 35 years of research, Dr. Gottman has discovered something very surprising. He now understands something that is counter-intuitive to many of us.
Exclusive Interview With John Gottman
The Three Boxes
After spending decades researching the intersections between behavioral economics and relationship psychology, Dr. John Gottman has made a number of incredible discoveries about relationships.
Inside the Love Lab
Dr. Gottman’s research on trust is groundbreaking. Widely recognized as the world’s foremost researcher on marriage and relationships, his intuition and natural ease with people are not his only gifts.
The Love Lab
Overcoming Gridlocked Conflict
Emotion Coaching Step 5: Helping the Child Problem Solve and Setting Limits
Emotion Coaching Step 4: Helping Your Child to Find Words For Their Emotions
Our research shows that adults can help kids who struggle with moments of emotional intensity, largely due to children's natural inexperience in understanding what on earth they are going through.