The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen is stonewalling.
Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the number one predictor of divorce, but it can be defeated.
Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.
The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism.
The first step in effectively managing conflict is to identify and counteract The Four Horsemen when they arrive in your conflict discussions. Luckily, for every horseman there is an antidote, and you can learn how and when to use them below.
Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns.